The Eastern Back is a yearly publication by the staff of the AS Review. Anything contained here probably isn’t true- unless it is. Happy April Fool’s week!
By Gwen Frost
With overwhelming student support, local hate-monger Eric Bostrom has been elected the new Associated Students President for the coming 2018-19 school year.
Excitement over Bostrom’s landslide victory extends to the administration as well. Western’s President Sabah Randhawa couldn’t believe that “an old random white man” hadn’t been elected to the position before.
“Now that I think of it, there is no one better than Bostrom to reflect the opinions of the student body,” said Sabah. “This all makes sense, and I am definitely not surprised or horrified.”
The political climate for the student body is anything but unanimous, however.
Senior Devyn Julkowski was outraged.
“I just can’t believe our student body is so stupid to elect somebody this intolerant,” said Julkowski. “No, I didn’t vote, but I am completely beside myself with an outcome that I definitely could have had a role in changing.
This is Bostrom’s first foray into the world of student politics, but it won’t be his last. Bellingham High School has yearly elections for class representatives, which Bostrom believes “aren’t totally off the table for future plans.”
“I realized that running for city council was a step I took too soon,” said Bostrom. “Working in student government gives me the practice and credentials I need to go further.”
He would not comment on the impact a $3,000 donation from the Whatcom G.O.P had on his campaign.
However, in a message from his BlackBerry, Whatcom County Republican vice chair Karl Uppiano said they did not expect to Bostrom to win.
“We really just hate hate gay people and college students,” he said. “A DUI doesn’t bother me. Western students’ continued respect for basic human rights does.”