Connecting with confidence: tips and tricks for finding friends on campus

By Alexandria Baker
The beginning of your first quarter of college is something many people look forward to, but it can also be a time of challenge and transition. At the start of this exciting time of year, it is important to remember that other students are experiencing similar growing pains and doubts.
The key to starting your school year on the right foot is building a support system for yourself. Many students envision college as a time of instant friendship, camaraderie, and parties. In reality, it is often difficult to feel like you belong amongst a group of almost total strangers. It’s okay. Give yourself some time to breathe and acclimate to your new surroundings. Your roommate may not be best friend material, and at the start of the school year, everyone in your dorm is unfamiliar to you — but this will change with just a little time and effort.
However daunted you may feel in the beginning, it’s important not to isolate yourself in your room (particularly if you live on campus). Your next door neighbor will stay a stranger if you never say hello.
For those who are a bit more introverted, making that first connection can be the hardest part. The solution to this is simple: try leaving your door open. It may feel silly or unnecessary, but it is an unwritten rule in the first few weeks of school that an open door is an invitation to stop by and introduce yourself. Passersby are much more likely to stop and say hello if it looks like you would like some visitors. Once you have acclimated a bit, you might return the favor and at least give a passing smile to someone through their open door.
Of course, some students might need a little more structure to their first interactions — and that’s okay! Living on campus has the added bonus of meet-and-greet events in the dorms. It is pretty standard for RAs and other residence hall staff to host game nights and icebreakers for their residents. Again, it might seem a little juvenile at times, but great connections can be forged at these events. Even if you don’t find someone you click with, it will at least give you a few more familiar faces.
And if you don’t live on campus? Don’t sweat it, there are countless opportunities to meet new people and find your place. The easiest place to start is to look for people who enjoy the same thing you do. Are you athletic? See if you can join in on a pick-up game of your favorite sport. Musical? Join A Capella or Glee Club, and bond with people over a song. Maybe you just want to talk about Harry Potter — don’t worry, there’s a club for that. The important thing here is to follow your passions, and do something that interests you.
Now it’s always possible that none of these things will work for you. Maybe you’re just not clicking with the people in your dorm, or you can’t find a club or activity that speaks to you. Again, this is no reason for panic. The first few weeks of the quarter is a great time to connect with your classmates. In a larger lecture, try sitting in the same area of the class each day, and get to know the people who sit near you. Regardless of class standing, at the beginning of the quarter, everyone is new to the class, and it is an ideal time to introduce yourself.
Forming study groups with classmates is another way to connect. Even if you are not particularly struggling with a class, if you find yourself getting along with a fellow classmate, asking them to study with you can be the perfect icebreaker.
No matter how lost you may feel, just remember to give yourself some time to adjust to your new surroundings. Confidence and friendships will come with time, and until then, make sure you keep the door open.

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